Saturday, February 28, 2009

One Reason Why I Love Sweden

Yesterday evening was another gasque, this time just for International Students. It was a blast, fueled by alcohol and karaoke. Yes, I did karaoke.

Anyway, I'm not really in a writing mood this morning, but I've decided to [try to] keep you, my loyal readers (all two and a half of you, the half being those who read with less frequency, or at times, a midget) happy. Of course, I also assume that you are happy to begin with and are not just reading this out of pity. But I digress. Given the lack of Swedish-speakers at last night's gasque, the International Committee wrote some special songs in English to the tune of the normal Swedish songs. These are some of the songs we sang at the formal dinner, transcripted directly from the program guide for the evening. I love Sweden.

My Liver
When I was young
in the school canteen
they served me liver
and something green
Let's have revenge
for that liver smell
let's put our own
through a liver hell

Do-Re-Mi-Beer (to the tune of Do-Re-Mi)
DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY... the guy that sells me beer
ME... the guy who drinks the beer
FAR... the distance to my beer
SO... I think I'll have a beer
LA... la la la la la beer
TEA... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
...That will bring us back to (look in empty glass)

If the ocean was whiskey
and I was a duck
I would start from the bottom
and drink my way up
But the ocean ain't whiskey
and I'm not a duck
so I take you to my place
and give you a fuck

If the river was brandy
and I was a horse
I would start from the ocean
and drink to the source
But the ocean ain't brandy
and I'm not a horse
so I take you to my place
and take you by force

A Jedi Night (to the tune of Obla-di Obla-da)
Tell me Master Yoda what is wrong with me
Feels like I've been stepped on by a horse.
Could it be that I have drunk a galaxy
and underestimate the dark side of the Force.

Obi-Wan, Obi two, Obi three
hit me with your laser drink.
Obi-Wan, Obi two, come and save me!
Down under the bar I sink.

Waking up next morning was a big ordeal,
thought I had a Leia in my bed,
but you can imagine, Master, how I feel
when I see Jabba lying there with me instead.

Obi-Wan, Obi two, Obi three
warp me to another place.
Obi-Wan, Obi two, come and save me!
Throwing up in hyperspace.

Calm down now, young Skywalker
you will be fine,
R2D2 would have laughed at this.
Help me drink this bottle of Han Solo's wine
and I will tell you who your mother really is.

Obi-Wan, Obi two, Obi three
drink and you will fly alright.
Obi-Wan, Obi two, come and save me!
Man, I had a Jedi night!

One final thing to say: I mentioned what was affectionately called "paint" in one of the last entries. I had something, a Swedish traditional drink snaps, that was far worse. I still taste it this morning.

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